I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
