the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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