i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
