He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
