You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
