You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
