I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
