we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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