Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
