Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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