Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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