i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
