get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
