Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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