Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the night ended with taco bell and tears
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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