I feel like abortions should bother me more
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
