As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
