I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
