Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
