So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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