Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
not ubering you a puppy
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
