I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We need to get me chipped asap
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
