I'm really into asian looking animals
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
