I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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