whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
