I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
