Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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