Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
