is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
