"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
no you cant smoke seaweed
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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