The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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