i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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