you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
