whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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