i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
