Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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