So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
