I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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