i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
