sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
