im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
