Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just pee around me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
