Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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