What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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