Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
