these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
