I showed him my bush... on skype.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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