You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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