Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
