I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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