So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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